Championdship Week 2019

Championship Week 2019

Super Bowl

Team Names Have Been Redacted

[Team Hank] Overcomes Adversity to Secure Title In Inaugural Season

In a fitting matchup of the two consistently elite teams this season, the Respect Bowl™ was set up as one of the most exciting finals of the past few seasons. Then bad quarterbacking happened. Having seen enough of Kyle Allen, the Panthers turned to Will Grier in a “research and development” phase of the season. Ouch. Absolutely abysmal from the get-go, Grier took one of the most quarterback-proof receivers in the league in DJ Moore and turned him into Chris Hogan. One catch for one yard is absolutely killer from a player averaging ten targets per game. Allen Robinson had a similar fate when the Chiefs sneaky good pass defense turned Mitchell Trubisky back into Mitchell Trubisky, forcing Robinson into 6/53/0. The final betrayal of [Team Griffin] came from James Conner, who seemingly is unable to stay healthy at all this year. Conner gained only 32 rushing yards before exiting in the first quarter of the literal vomit that was the Steelers-Jets game.

Despite these performances, [Team Griffin] got strong performances out of the DFS darlings of the week: Breshad Perriman and Deandre Washington. Washington scored and Perriman cleared 100 yards. Christian McCaffrey finished the season as strong as he’s performed all year with an absurd 15 catches. Will Grier giveth, Will Grier taketh away. OJ Howard’s hilariously usable week provided a stomachable tight end performance, and Ryan Tannehill continues to flourish upon his freedom from Adam Gase. I hate the Jets. [Team Griffin] harnessed every bit of their powers to produce fantasy points, but it was not enough to overcome the magic of [Team Hank].

Despite being the top team for the majority of the season, [Team Hank]’s single glaring weakness was depth. That depth was not put to the test until the most important week of the season. But as is blatantly clear, when you have the highest floor players in the league, you only need one more player to have a spike week to hang a huge number. This week, that player was Devonta Freeman. Scoring over 20 points for the first time since week six, Freeman put up his biggest game in the biggest game of the year, scoring two touchdowns to the tune of 29.2 points. Getting a nice 69% of his scoring from only Freeman, Michael Thomas, and Lamar Jackson, [Team Hank] heads into Monday night not needing to start a running back or tight end. Dominant the entire season, [Team Hank] has secured their inaugural season championship. Congratulations to [Team Hank], your $265 and weekly winnings will hit your Venmo later this evening once I deposit all of the cash I pulled out at the beginning of the season.